By Lantern’s Light: No Money Shall Escape Our Sight!
// November 26th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Comics, Humor
When they announced Blackest Night two years ago in the finale of Sinestro Corps War, I was practically pissing myself with excitement. Sinestro CW was the perfect example for how to handle an event comic. Blackest Night stood poised to usurp that throne, simultaneously becoming the greatest thing since the invention of painted-on bikinis.
Then DC Editorial got involved.
The money people knew that BK was going to be HUGE. Therefore they had to rape the cash cow until she could “MOO” no more. Unfortunately, money based decisions have rarely led to flourishing creative decisions. Sinestro Corps War’s biggest strength is that is was almost totally self contained. It ran in both Green Lantern and GL Corps, yet both books could be read on their own without really needing to read the other if the reader so wished. And the various one-shots managed to be self-contained one-offs.
By contrast, the Blackest Night mini-series can’t even be read on it’s own.
DC’s last Final Crisis failed for a bunch of reasons, but chief among those reasosn (aside from being totally unintelligible) is the fact that the ending makes no sense unless you read Superman Beyond and Legion of Three Worlds. Both books introduced characters or concepts that were absolutely essential to knowing how Final Crisis ended. Fuck being a fan. As a WRITER, I have to say that is complete bullshit.
You would assume DC learned it’s lesson with FC, but instead, made Blackest Night even worse in this regard. Major portions of the central story are taking place in both Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps and even the seemingly useless BK: Titans. Meanwhile the main mini-series seems focused on bullshit for half of it’s run. The second issue was centered on the Aquaman family. The first issue was all about Heroes Day and the return of Barry Allen. Things like this are best served in ancillary titles. And perhaps worst of all is that you can’t even tell what order to read them in. If you read BK# 5 before checking out GL#48, you are going to be severely confused. I can’t imagine writer Geoff Johns planned things this way. It’s a mess; a hurricane of junk circling the crapper.
And though my metaphor is strong, none of this is to suggest that I’m not digging the story. I’m just pissed that now I have to go back to my local comic shop and pick up Blackest Night: Titans #3 just to find out what is going on with Dove. If you were to trim the fat and tell the story in some sort of logical order, I have no doubt Blackest Night would have been every bit as amazing as the Sinestro arc.
In fact, if anyone from DC is reading this, here’s how you should have ordered the material in Blackest Night:
issue 1: Black Hand murders himself and his family. The Black Lantern rings descend on the Universe.
issue 2: The dead rise and kill a lot of people, launching an assault on DC’s heroes.
issue 3: The indigo tribe shows up and tells Hal “Dude, we need the rainbow coalition.” Hawk is killed and Dove manifests her whiteness.
Issue 4: Hal gathers the different Lanterns. Nekron shows up.
Issue 5 — well, pretty much exactly what happened in issue 5.
See, I’m not telling you how to write the story. This is just an organized recap of the central story that doesn’t FUCK your audience. You could easily have put all that other bullshit in the regular Green Lantern title. Dude, it’s Johns and Doug Mahnke– we’ll read it anyway!
Thanks for reading. And check out my positive review of Blackest Knight #5 coming very soon!













