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The LOST Epilogue is Bullshit

// August 9th, 2010 // No Comments » // Nerdgasm, Review, Rumor, Scifi, Television

So at some point the 12 minute epilogue to LOST (the one that producers Cuse and Lindelof implied would finally give some fucking answers) was leaked online.  It was quickly taken down in most places bc they want you to buy the DVD sets in order to watch it.

I managed to watch it here.  Go watch it now because it will be taken down, probably soon.  I’m not embedding it here, bc I don’t want the hassle.

Honestly, the whole thing was another major dick move by the LOST crew.  Of the 12 minutes they give you, 6 of them were another Dharma Initiative film which explained where the Polar Bears come from.  I think we can all agree, of the dangling plot threads left, the polar bear mystery was one of the least necessary for them to answer.  The last 3 minutes of it are by far the most interesting, and all they really do it tease you with good shit then tell you to kiss their ass, bc you’ll never see it.

Fuck the DVD set.   They should have just let the show end with the finale rather than be assholes about it.

(PS if its taken down by the time you read this, the only good part of the video should be up on Topless Robot.)

Like a Fish…

// July 23rd, 2010 // No Comments » // Movies, Nerdgasm, Rumor, Scifi, commentary

Rob Bricken from Topless Robot posted the following video. (who I guess got it from /film)

Tron Legacy Viral at Comic-Con: Year 2 from /Film on Vimeo.

I generally avoid reposting other people’s shit because sometimes it feels like the internet is just one big circle jerk.  But this video was far too awesome not to comment on.

Over at SDCC this year, Disney decided to re-create Flynn’s Arcade in anticipation of the upcoming Tron Legacy film this December.  But as you can see in the video, they didn’t just make an arcade.  They re-created the computer than downloads you into the cyber world and then sent guests into a room that looks like the fucking Tron world to watch kick ass clips of the movie and hang out with fucking Bruce Boxleitner.

All I can say is that it’s a damn good thing I couldn’t afford to go to San Diego bc I would’ve killed a shitload of nerds and sown their skin into a piecemeal human suit to get into this thing. Holy fuck.  Bruce.  Fucking.  Boxleitner. He’s John Sheridan. And Capt. Awesome’s dad on Chuck. Which makes him Admiral Awesome, I think.  And he looks cool as shit, taking pictures with fans.  I bet he could nail every chick in that room (all 6 of them) if he wanted.

There’s been some rumors that Disney is thinking of putting Flynn’s Arcade in Tomorrowland (not sure if it’s Disneyland or Disney World).  If this is what they did for a road show, there’s a very good chance the Imagineers are building something capable of causing mass brain aneurysms.

If Tron Legacy is a tenth as good as the trailer, I’m going to go to jail for public indecency when I see it.

NERDGASM: NARNIA EDITION!

// June 17th, 2010 // No Comments » // Movies, Nerdgasm, Rumor

For those who care, the folks over at BIGHOLLYWOOD have a (relatively) exclusive trailer for Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

Dawn Treader tells the story of the youngest two Pevensieve kids (Lucy and Edmund) and their cousin going back to the magical world of Narnia. Just from the trailer, it  looks fantastic and already much better than Prince Caspian, which I didn’t like at all.

NAAAARRRNIAAAAAA!!!!

Brubaker’s Avengers Aren’t Secret Anymore.

// April 15th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Comics, Rumor, commentary

I checked out IGN this morning when I woke up and found out that Marvel has finally started slowly leaking the roster of Ed Brubaker’s Secret Avengers.   It’s the same I am a Secret Avenger teasers as before, but the characters are no longer silhouettes.

I would have never guessed this.

When I looked at the comments, I found this link to a blog leaking the full roster.  (Out of respect to the blogger, I’m not reposting the image of the full cast, so you’ll have to click on the link to see it.)

First, I should mention that Blake and Kenny called at least some of these on 2 in 1 Showcase.

So the officially released characters are Beast (pictured right), Valkyrie,  Moon Knight– or possibly Anti-Moon Knight judging by the chest emblem– and War Machine.

The blog has a pic with the whole cast; the final two being Steve Rogers and Nova.

The fact is the cast does technically make sense, as all of the characters have either been Avengers or have Avengers ties.  Nova for instance was an original member of the New Warriors, the Young Avengers of their day.   What’s odd about it though is that this feels more like a new Defenders team than Avengers.  It’s not just the fact that (obscure Defenders character) Valkyrie and Beast are here.   It’s just a very eclectic cast.

And that’s not a knock on it.  It’s a good team.

I do have a few qualms though.  Firstly– I’m glad Brubaker decided to keep Bucky as Cap, but WHAT THE HELL IS STEVE WEARING???    I think— it may be one of those random flag character costumes like Super Patriot.  Still… UGH.  Mike Deodato is a talented artist; surely he can come up with better than this.

Personally I’m still pushing the theory that Steve will be the new Nick Fury.  So it could be that Secret Avengers is a covert ops team stemming out of the newly reformed SHIELD.  Although it’s hard to be covert in a big purple flag costume, Steve.

The other thing that bugs me is Nova.  I haven’t read the Nova ongoing in about 6 months (mostly bc I have a huge pull-list and had to let some go) but the last I checked he was in charge of reigniting the galaxy’s police force (the Green La— oh, right).  I know Beast has three jobs– hell Wolverine in on 8 teams of X-Men and 2 Avengers teams— but considering Nova has been positioned as a Cosmic realm character, it seems odd to have him on a team book.

Beyond that, I think it looks solid.  Brubaker is one of the best writers in the business, so this is likely worth adding to your pull list.

I won’t be reading for personal reasons, but if you would, let me know how it turns out.

It’s Official- God Exists

// April 14th, 2010 // No Comments » // Comics, Nerdgasm, Rumor

Oh Joss- I'd go gay for you...

Yesterday Topless Robot reported on a rumor that Joss “I write smokin hot chicks” Whedon was THIS CLOSE to signing on to direct The Avengers (the comic, not the brit TV Show) for Marvel Entertainment.

Variety is now pretty much confirming that rumor. Although if you read the article, it sounds like it could still fall through.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up until it is 100% and the film is actually in production, because…  JOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.  COOOOMMICCCCCSSS.

Are you kidding me??  My nipples are hard just thinking about this!

Ohsweetsassymolassey if this movie actually happened it would be like a nerd-orgy… a nergy. (copyright Rebelcomix, bitches)   Seriously, this movie can only end with a bunch of geeks smoking with their undies around their ankles.

The best part is that Whedon will supposedly rework Zak Penn’s script.  To his credit, Penn wrote the script for the second X-Men film which had my vote for best comic film ever up until Iron Man.  Unfortunately he also wrote X-men 3 and Elektra.   Sooo… yeah.  1 in 3 chance of a Penn script not blowing balls. (Interestingly, X-Men 3 was loosely based on Whedon’s first Astonishing X-men trade.) Granted Whedon has his moments of terrible as well, but his ratio of brilliant is insanely high.  I mean, who else could have pulled off Dr. Horrible? And if you look at his record, the man has consistently gotten better at his craft.

his craft is AWESOME

Annnnnnywho.

Jon Favreau (Iron Man) had also expressed interest in directing The Avengers. I wouldn’t be at all disappointed if that happened, but Joss NEEDS to be on a comic adaptation.  If they pulled this off it would totally make up for the loss of Firefly.

…okay no it wouldn’t.

Will iPad Kill the Comic Store?

// April 5th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // Comics, Rumor, commentary

This Saturday, April 3rd 2010, a revolution began.  Certainly an arms race of technology.  But in our small community it may be a war of a mediums.

It won’t be the first time some have suggested the death knell of comics.  Even my own generation saw the 90′s explosion and implosion.  It was sheer luck that the Big Two (Marvel and DC) survived the excess of the 90s, though it is questionable whether they would have taken the entire industry down with them.

This is a different kind of trauma, though.  Since the advent of high-speed internet and wifi, digital comics has stood in the background waiting for their time to shine.  For years, digital has been a less than viable format.   Whether through downloaded pdf files or online digital flip comics, the computer-based viewing is viewed by most as more of a pain than they’re worth.  Comics, after all, were never designed to be read on a screen that is wider than it is tall.  In fact, they have never been designed to be read in any other format.

All that may change though, with the advent of the iPad.

The iPad by look is a larger version of the iTouch.  Bigger screen and a little more unwieldy, but it performs many of the same functions, while at the same time trumping miniature “Netbooks” in terms of portability and visual quality.   The iPad offers a host of heretofore unseen options that the iPhone and iTouch could not deliver.  Chief among them is it’s use as a digital reader.

The Amazon Kindle has nearly had the e-reader market cornered for years, in spite of contenders like Barnes and Noble’s Nook and Sony’s (simplistically named) Reader.   E-reader’s have been marketed for book readers on the go; technology for people with lives in the fastlane and hearts in the past.  They offer easier storage and cataloging of your library, making your reading options available at a touch.  But what the Kindle, Nook and Reader have fostered, the iPad improves on and laps.

The lack of color and power has made digital comics an impossibility on E-Readers.  The iPad seems almost designed with comics in mind. Pursuant to this, Marvel has announced that their comics will be available for sale through Apple.  This action nearly insures their stand in the future of comics and also strikes a blow at Diamond Distributors, a company that has held a strangle hold on the industry for decades, by offering yet another method of distribution.

It sounds great, and theoretically it will lower costs for the consumer.  There’s only one problem.  What will this do to comic shops? If digital comics were to dominate the industry, it would mean the collapse of the comic shop system.  While such speculation is premature at this point, it is far from paranoid.   It wasn’t long ago that Apple’s iPod and other MP3 devices nearly eradicated record shops across the country.  Granted it’s a slightly different situation.  (Online music allows for a la carte song downloads; something inapplicable with comic sales.)  Still it’s a possibility that history  might repeat itself.   Science Fiction (the genre that gave birth to the popularization of comics) has been predicting for decades that society would move away from print mediums, and so far comics seem to be the last true holdout.

In the U.S. we have a (somewhat) Free Market Economy.  During good times, most businesses can piggyback on the rise even if they don’t function efficiently.  In an economic downturn, we become a Darwinian Economy.  Poorly functioning businesses will die quickly, while small businesses with the ability to evolve and adapt can survive and even thrive.   Currently comics cost an average of $3.50. Financial conditions may require readers to cut back, which means offering comics available cheaper through the iPad (and it’s eventual competitors) may be the exact kind of evolution Publishers have been looking for to stay afloat.

Unfortunately shops don’t have that option.  Some may turn to fringe industries like back issue sales, Trade Paperbacks and Graphic Novels or concentrate more on gaming.  Less imaginative shop owners would simply have to cut their losses and close.

So does that mean that comic shops are doomed?

Maybe not.

For one thing, the format is far from perfect.  For all it’s hype, even the iPad isn’t quite large enough to fully display a comic without having to zoom and adjust the panels in order to read them– also making artists’ splash pages basically useless.

There’s also the issue of cost.  Purchasing an iPad isn’t an option for everyone.  In the long term, it may save readers money, but in the short term, they might have to give up a lot to buy one.

E-Readers also lack safety for your library.   Whereas books are usually only threatened by fire, flood and age, E-Readers have other possible problems.   For starters, computer drives have shelf-lives.  Backing up your books is necessary.  But worse is the possibility that your purchases can be taken from you.   A year ago, Amazon found itself liable over the sale of the book 1984 by George Orwell.   They didn’t have the right to sell it.  So one morning Kindle owners woke up to discover their copy of the book erased without their permission.  Amazon credited their money back, but one must imagine Kindle owners were more than a little upset at Amazon’s Orwellian control over their property.  With books, Amazon would not have been able to take them back in this situation.  To be fair, comics probably wouldn’t have the same rights issues, but for some consumers such as myself, the possibility of having books disappear is enough to dissuade them from such purchases.

But in the end, the shops themselves may be what save them from the gallows.

Record stores died because, for all their glory and cool factor, they were just stores.  Comic shops are more than just a register and a few books.  Comic shops are our watering holes  our water coolers.  They are filled with our families and friends.  They are our last bastion against — forgive me– a world that fears and hates us.    When the people you love do not understand you, rest assured someone in a comic shop knows just how you feel.  Comic shops provide the one thing that the online world can only hint at- community.

At the end of the day, they’re the place “where everybody knows your name.”

*The above piece is purely op-ed. I’m not an economist, nor do I own an e-reader. If you disagree or you know something I don’t, please leave a comment. Do not under any circumstances be an ass. It’s an opinion. If I’m wrong, so be it.*

Greatest Spidey- Game Ever???

// March 31st, 2010 // No Comments » // Comics, Rumor

There aren’t many comic characters with the wide appeal of Spider-man. In fact, its pretty much him and Batman. As such, both have seen their share of mass media incarnations, from movies to lunch boxes.

Why then, is it so hard to get a decent comic- video game adaptation. After all there is a HUGE crossover market between games and comics.

Since the heyday of Atari, Spidey has seen quite a few games with his name pinned on it. The only one that ever did the character any justice was his role as a playable character in both Marvel vs Capcom and Marvel Ultimate Alliance. Over the last decade, VG maker Actvision has brought the webbed one to small screens across America in various incarnations, several of them based on Sam Raimi’s films. I’ve played a few of them, but… well… UGH. However Activision did manage to find success once (and only once) with Ultimate Spider-man, a game that tied in with writer Brian Michael Bendis’ comic series of the same name. The game was literally like playing a comic, and the events of the game were considered canon in the series. It has been Spidey’s one shining moment of gaming glory.

But that’s all set to change this Fall.

Spider-man: Shattered Dimensions takes advantage of next gen consoles to bring Spidey to a whole new level of awesome. First of all, the game written by one of the current Spidey- brain trust members, Dan Slott (The Initiative, Mighty Avengers). Gamespot has released videos and info on what to expect.

The game centers around a mysterious relic called the Tablet of Order and Chaos. The tablet gets broken during a robbery and causes a schism in the fabric of time and space. Spider-man gets tapped to fix things. One of his magic friends *Gamespot notes this is neither Dr Strange nor Brother Voodoo* gets 4 Spider-men from 4 different dimensions to find the missing pieces of the Tablet.

As the videos show, the first two dimensions have been revealed. The “Amazing” Universe seems to be the regular 616 Spidey most fans are familiar with, or some variation thereof. The second– and I am really frothing at the mouth over this one– is the Spidey of Marvel’s Noir Universe. The Noir world was only recently introduced in a series of mini-series featuring key Marvel characters re-imagined as 1930′s pulp creations.

There are currently no details on the remaining 2 dimensions the game will explore. So– and I have no evidence of this– here are my guesses.

Dimension 3 will explore the Ultimate Marvel Universe. It’s not new territory for Activision, but it is Marvel’s second most prominent playground. Despite how expansive Ultimate Spider-man was, there’s still plenty of territory to explore. Depending on how long ago the planning sessions were, this dimension could take advantage of the (admittedly terrible) status quo the Ult. Spider-man is experiencing post- Ultimatum. At the very least, this would give Marvel the chance to bring back the one character everyone have been clamoring for: Geldoff!!!!

Dimension 4 could easily be the greatest gorram video game sequence every made. Just… EVER. I think Dimension 4 will be the Marvel Zombie Universe.

Come on. Do it with me. Have a nerdgasm. I know… no words… just emotions. Sweaty… nasty emotions.

Marvel has been milking their Zombie franchise ever since Mark Millar introduced the idea in Ultimate Fantastic Four. The various spinoff series’ have met with mixed reviews, but Marvel keeps putting them out. They even tried out Marvel Apes to see if that stuck. While most fans are over the Marvel Zombie phenomenon as a comic, I can’t imagine there’s a single fan out there that wouldn’t shart himself (or herself) in front of everyone they know if it meant they got to play Zombie gorram Spider-man!

If this isn’t in the game, I suggest Activsion stops whatever the fuck they’re doing and put this shit in there right now!!

RIGHT NOW.

Between this and Transformers: War for Cybertron I may have to rededicate my life to video games.

And Then There Were 3…

// March 4th, 2010 // No Comments » // Comics, Rumor, commentary

"...but not my costume."

A few weeks ago one of Marvel’s editors (I forget who, maybe Brevoort) mentioned in an interview (I forget where) that when all is said and done there would be 4 Avengers books on the market.   We’d already been aware for a month or so that Bendis and John Romita Jr would be launching Avengers #1 post-Seige and that Ed Brubaker and Mike Deodato Jr would follow with their own book, Secret Avengers.

Well, as of 3 days ago we have confirmation on the third book, New Avengers.  And believe it or not, this may be the most confusing re-launch yet.  The creative team is exactly the same as the current one.  Bendis and Stuart Immonen (who are KICKING ASSSSSSSS) will return for the reboot.  Which leads to the logical question, why reboot it?  Another bit of confusion is that Spider-man and Wolverine have already been announced as members of the main Avengers team, yet they were the 2nd and 3rd announcements for New Avengers.  For those of you updating your scorecards, that means that Logan is now on every X-Men and every Avengers team. No wonder the guy drinks so much. He has more resposnibilities than Octo-mom’s ‘baby daddy’.

The first NA roster announcement was Luke Cage.  He’ll be taking over as leader of the Thunderbolts now that Norman Osborn is outed, but they’d already suggested he would be an Avenger as well.

And finally this morning, in a move that surprised no one (particularly me, although I predicted she’d be on the other team) who has been reading New Avengers, Jessica Jones Cage is a New Avenger. Jessica has been a mainstay of the Avengers (as a supporting character, not an actual Avenger) since the end of The Pulse, when she and husband Luke Cage had a baby.   This announcement is a mixed blessing for me.  I regard Alias as by-far Bendis’ best work, but since the cancellation of her original series, Alias, Jessica has not been nearly the same character. In most ways, Mrs. Cage lacks the fundamental charm and relatability that defined Jessica.  It is my hope that by making her an official team member, Bendis will have the page space necessary to introduce new readers to the greatness of that character.

Newsarama has implied that she’s going back to her original code-name, Jewel.  Since the statement is uncredited, I’m going to assume they’re basing that on the costume.  I can’t imagine Bendis would saddle one of his favorite creations with that shiteous name. Between the two identities she’s had, I’d even prefer Knightress.   But honestly, can we just Jean Grey her and call her Jessica? It works.

It remains to be seen who will occupy the rest of the two teams.  As mentioned previously, the main book has a stunning lack of vaginas, so expect Ms Marvel, Mockingbird and possibly a left field choice to be included.

Because Bucky demanded it, the entire roster is composed of 'black' people.

Now, no one has been announced as team leaders thus far.  I’m sure I’m in the minority here, but I’d like to see Spider-man head up the NA squad.   One of the few things I dislike about NA’s is the constant playing of Peter as a buffoon.  He’s one of the most respected heroes in the Marvel 616, and for good reason.  Let’s give the kid a shot, Bendis.  Luke Cage blew his.

Marvel has also announced an Avengers Prime miniseries.  Read about it here.

As for the last book, I can only guess it will be one of two things.  Dan Slott has been a crew member since The Initiative.  He’s currently writing Mighty Avengers.  Since Bendis has two books and Bru has one, it’s possible they’ll toss the final one his way.  I don’t get the impression Hank Pym’s team is done yet.  On the other hand, there’s been rumors of Young Avengers returning with both Alan Heinberg and Jim Cheung for a couple of years.

That said, Heinberg is always way too busy to turn a script in on time.  I’m betting Mighty Avengers will be back with a new roster and Slott at the helm.

Headlines

// February 15th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // Comics, Humor, Review, Rumor

I’m a little late for my Week in Comics segment, but I have a good excuse.  I’m incredibly lazy.  So let’s jump right into it, shall we?

Marvel seems to be the big winner on headlines this week.

This morning it was announced that Marvel is taking the adjective from Astonishing X-Men and making it into an entire line.  It’s supposed to be some sort of low continuity series line so that new readers can jump right into the Marvel world.  I liked this idea better when it was called their Ultimate line.

So far they’ve announced the new team on Ast. X-Men and one new series: Astonishing Wolverine/ Spider-man which is a team up book by Jason Aaron and Adam Kubert.

Why does Cyclops look like a bouncer for a gay night club?

Warren Ellis will be joined by Kaare Andrews for his third Astonishing arc.  I’m fairly impressed with the designs even if Emma, Scott and Hisako look like rejects from FAME and Wolverine seems the doing his best impression of Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse. It may be worth noting that Beast looks a little closer to his original blue fur form.  That may just be an odd angle though.

Also? You can totally see Ororo’s boobs. Nice.

After recently announcing that they would be canceling the entire Avengers line, Marvel came back with a new line-up.  So far they’ve announced Hawkeye, Spider-woman, Bucky Cap, Thor, Iron Man, Wolverine and Spider-man.  They claim this isn’t the full line up and considering the guy girl ratio is 7 to 1, you can bet on Mockingbird and possibly Jessica Jones.   Bendis is on board, along with JRJR and Klaus Janson.  I’m a huge Romita Jr fan, but Klaus Janson is too dark an inker.  He works best with someone who has a lighter touch.   New Avengers has been a solid series under Bendis, so rebooted number aside, I expect this to be a great series.

Can the same be said for Secret Avengers?

Ignited by a series of cryptic roster silhouettes, the internet buzz has been heavy on this series by Ed Brubaker and Mike Deodato Jr.  There’s been speculation that this is a follow up to Dark Avengers.  Personally, I’m nixing that guess.  One: it’s two easy. And secondly the only reason people think that is bc Deodato was the Dark Avengers artist and one of the promos resembles Venom.  The truth is there are about a thousand Spider-man clones out there, figuratively and literally.

The bigger tip-off may be the adjective.  I’m thinking Secret Avengers is going to be Fury’s team.  Brubaker is brilliant at spy stories, as evidenced by the last few years on Captain America.

Unfortunately we’ll have to wait until after Seige before we get any real answers.

Last but not least, Marvel is kicking off yet another cosmic event with the resurrection of the Mad Titan in The Thanos Imperative: Ignition. Thanos was killed by current Guardian of the Galaxy member, Drax the Destroyer.

I want this cover to have my awesome babies.

The Thanos Imperative comes on the heels of the non-event Realm of Kings and once again involves The Fault, a rip in time/space from which all sorts of Lovecraftian badness is coming.  In addition to Thanos, the event will also focus on Adam Warlock’s evil side, The Magus.  The Magus has sprung up in several different forms throughout the years, most recently as the half the embodiment of Warlock’s soul in  the Infinity War (mid-90′s).

No real solids on this series either, but this is now the fourth Cosmic event in as many years. Abnett and Lanning have left the cosmic end of Marvel in far better shape than the regular universe, but it’s still more event fatigue.   That said, it probably will be a good series, so if you can stomach one more cross-over, go for it.

Speaking of events, DC leads off with the covers to this Summer’s Return of Bruce Wayne.

Bruce Wayne does Philip Marlowe? I'm SO in!

Each of the six covers illustrates the different eras that Batman will fight his way through as he battles back to the current timeline. We’ll see Bat-cave man (heh, i made a punny), Captain Bat Sparrow, Witch hunter Batman, Gunslinger Batman and Detective Batman… which isn’t all that conceptually different from regular Bruce, but looks awesome nonetheless.

Morrison has stated that this story doesn’t rewrite the DCU’s history so much as add definition to it.  Apparently Batman was getting things done.

I’m on the fence with this one.  It looks like a fun Batman story, but on the other hand Morrison has been seriously off his rocker since Final Crisis #1.  This may be the most polarizing of Morrison’s work yet… but not likely.

Another major story is in the offing over in the Superman corner of the DCU.  War of the Supermen will be known as the “100 minute war”.  The story is a four parter set in 25 minute increments by James Robinson and Sterling Gates, based on the plans of Geoff Johns.  According to Robinson’s twitter, DC Blogger Alex Segura came up with the concept of the 100 minute war.  Basically it’s a war fought in super-speed.

Okay… that’s just gorram cool.  I haven’t really been in with Supes since the New Krypton arc, but hot damn this sounds like it’s worth trying.

DC’s Brightest Day series has a few more details.  A new cover features the original Aquaman apparently reborn after the events of Blackest Night.   The character has been gone since a failed reboot of the series during DC’s One Year Later stories.

too much tequilla will do that to you, Arthur.

Also post- Blackest Night, the Green Lantern Corps will spin off a third series (fourth if you count Brightest Day).   Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors will star everyone’s favorite ring-wielding jack ass, Guy Gardner.  The series will be written by Peter Tomasi who is departing GLC.  Tomasi will in turn be replaced by Tony Bedard.

Okay, on the one hand that’s way too many Green Lantern series.  On the other, Guy Gardner is bad ass.  As for GLC, Tony Bedard is a really talented writer who seems to keep getting crappy jobs.  Hopefully Green Lantern Corps will turn that around.

Oh, and in other GL news, Ganthet goes from being Guardian of the Blue Lanterns to bitch-job of grunt ring-slinger for the Green Corps.  No idea why.

That’s it for this week.  I’ll try to be less lazy this weekend.

Captain America vs Hollywood

// February 7th, 2010 // No Comments » // Comics, Movies, Rumor

When Marvel Comics formed Marvel Entertainment it was a revelation.  It signaled that the company was taking charge of its own destiny in the larger world of on-screen media.   Iron Man proved that a true, honest to God comic book adaptation could be made.  Iron Man is in many ways the prefect comic film, and it’s sequel (due this May) looks to be every bit as good or better.  The road to Marvel’s Avengers film seemed to have clear blue skies.

Then came this announcement.  The LA Times is reporting that Director Joe Johnston is essentially turning the Captain America costume and concept into a joke.

“The costume is a flag, but the way we’re getting around that is we have Steve Rogers forced into the USO circuit. After he’s made into this super-soldier, they decide they can’t send him into combat and risk him getting killed. He’s the only one and they can’t make more. So they say, ‘You’re going to be in this USO show’ and they give him a flag suit. He can’t wait to get out of it.” (Courtesy LA Times)

Okay… two questions.

1. What’s the point of spending a billion dollars to create a super soldier just so you can turn him into a clown?
2. Does Joe Johnston and Co. realize that Cap will eventually be standing next to the Norse God of Thunder and the Incredible Hulk?  Why would that costume be the one American audiences find silly?

I realize this comes dangerously close to talking about politics, and for that I apologize.  But this is something I feel needs to be said.   Hollywood never once questioned putting Spider-man or Batman in their costumes.  For crepes’ sakes do you remember the Batman and Robin costumes that Joel Schumaker approved??? Those costumes were silly.

What’s so crazy about an honorable and patriotic soldier during WW2?   What’s so crazy about an American audience believing a man wrapped in the flag?

This isn’t about the audience.  This is about Hollywood.

From ‘Hanoi Jane‘ on down through the ages to James Cameron, the movie and entertainment industry has had a long standing grudge with traditional American values.  The First Amendment is designed to protect even anti-American sentiment.  It’s fine for film-makers and writers to express that point of view.   But this is Captain America.

Cap is one of the oldest comic creations still in circulation.  He was created specifically to be the symbol of American sentiment during WW2.  Call me crazy, but I think that sentiment still exists in the hearts and minds of the majority of the American people.  Even when people don’t love their government, they can still love their country.

A few years ago, when Hollywood decided that GI Joe would no longer be “The Real American Hero” for their big-screen adaptation (The Rise of Cobra), I made a conscious decision that I would not spend my hard-earned money on it.  That decision was made in part because I am a patriot, but also because it is an affront to the property.  GI Joe was a toy franchise about an American task military force comprised of different people of all ethnicities and backgrounds fighting together to preserve liberty and freedom.  Is there anything you can think of more beautiful than that???

But the movie studios decided that was too American.

Okay. Fine.  I didn’t spend my money on The Rise of Cobra.  Nor did I shell out ten dollars for a glorified cartoon by a director who advocates eco-terrorism and hates America.   James Cameron can make whatever film he wants.  He can come up with film techniques that simulate euphoria in the viewer’s mind.  I won’t pay for it.

And the same goes for Captain America.

Marvel Entertainment.  Do not make this film. Do not desecrate the integrity of the character just because you disagree with it. The story of a man who loved his country so much that he underwent experimentation and made himself a walking target to inspire the people of the world is not an out-dated one.

It’s just an under-written one.

UPDATE:  After reading this article on Bighollywood.com, I realized that I should have finished reading the second half of the LA Times article.

To clarify, eventually Steve Rogers goes AWOL (although I’m not certain how one goes AWOL from the USO Tour, but still…) and comes to realize the importance of the costume.  It’s your classic ‘Hero’s Journey’ scenario. And then he becomes a leader.

So ADMITTING MY MISTAKE, my point still kind of stands.   There’s no need to make these changes in the character and costume.

Steve Rogers was a skinny kid who wasn’t allowed to defend his country because he was too frail.  So he agrees to these experimental procedures that will make him a symbol of the American Spirit.  That’s it.  That’s the story.  So why does he get thrust into the USO where he decides he’s too cool to wear the flag?  Where does that come into the story?

It fundamentally changes the character’s personality and purpose.  Cap wears the bright, gaudy costume in defiance of the Nazis. He’s a walking target, and he’s supposed to be. That’s why he has a big ass shield! And that’s another thing.  If Steve thinks the costume is stupid, how is he going to feel about carrying around a bright red, white and blue shield in public?  And again, he’ll later be standing by Thor and Iron Man, and maybe even Ant Man. Isn’t that goofy?  These movies require you to suspend disbelief.  So why is it more realistic and acceptable to see a man dressed as a giant bat than one dressed as the American flag?